Back to School? This year’s subjects are Babies and Bleach…

It’s September. In my normal life this would mean there would be that familiar smell in the increasingly cooler air that says it’s a new term, go to Paperchase and buy some new stationary and dig out the woolly tights! I’d usually be gearing up for some sort of conversation with my Head of Group about my workload bundles and be negotiating the number of first year tutorials that lie between now and Christmas. I feel like I should be back at school…

Instead, I’m smelling that September air and booking myself onto a Baby Sensory course and wondering whether or not I should buy the Rainforest Jumperoo on Ebay. I’m on maternity leave…and loving it. The past year (and it’s been almost a year since I last blogged) has been filled with a happy pregnancy, anxieties and excitement about temporarily leaving work, and the birth of our beautiful baby daughter in May. The last few months, as is the case for many new parents, has been full of clichés; it’s been a huge learning curve, the realisation that life will never be the same again, falling in love in a whole new way, getting used to less sleep, and realising that, as Mother always said, you’ve given birth to an accelerator and time simply takes on a new dimension. I am now aware that all the clichés and trite things that people said when I was pregnant…are true.

But there are also things I’ve found that aren’t so true. One thing I’ve found relatively easy has been spending time at home. As an academic, most of my summer months are spent at home, so being here has been normal – I’ve just replaced my research work with a new project, swapped books for bottles, and traded in papers for Pampers. I haven’t yet yearned for ‘adult conversation’, I’ve not been covered in sick (much), I’ve managed to do my make-up AND my hair, and I’ve found babies to be fascinating company.

What I wasn’t expecting was hitting September with such an unsettled feeling. It’s not that I’m missing work (although I am certainly making an effort to see friends and colleagues), it just feels strange not to be at work this time of year. An odd case of “I don’t want to be there but it’s weird not being involved” …if that makes sense…

This past weekend, I also found myself reflecting on what I had (naively) intended to do on maternity leave; read lots of books, make a quilt, keep a diary, clear out my study…and so on and so on… All of this with the view that “babies sleep, right?! So I’ll have some time on my hands?” Needless to say I have barely done any of these things. And so, five months into my maternity leave I find myself thinking, what have I achieved? What have I got to show for this time off? …then I wanted to slap myself around the face (hard) and say “What?! YOUR BABY is what you’ve got to show for this and it’s NOT time ‘off’. You have a right to this time and YOU are benefitting from this and so is your baby!”

I recently spoke to a great friend about these feelings and after a virtual hug (we were speaking on email), she wisely noted that this almost ‘performance culture’ must be rife in today’s (Western?) society…that we even try and make maternity leave as ‘productive’ as possible! Awful, isn’t it?

Why can’t we just be? Why do we need to milk (forgive the pun) every ounce of time we have and place unrealistic demands on ourselves and what we ‘should’ be achieving? Why do we feel the need to ‘do’ all the time? I also wonder what other people think about this – other new parents – and what are other people doing on their maternity leave? Answers on a postcard please…

Still, I am left feeling part mother, part academic…part content at watching my little girl giggle and laugh all day, part itching to ‘do’ something. On the one hand I am telling myself to enjoy this time…on the other hand I’m nudging myself to at least write something. Looking ahead, there’s that sense of returning to work next May a changed woman, with family as a priority and not the perfect lecture…but feeling a bit like a rusty old bike that’s been left in the garden for a year.

This is what has prompted me to get back on my bike…or rather, my blog. Here is a space where I can ‘do’ something, here is a space to metaphorically keep the wheels oiled…

…and what better subject to blog about than my love of all things Hair! If I had a hair salon, I’d join the hundreds of hair salons that embrace a jolly good pun – Alive and Klippin’, Curl Up and Dye, Bright ‘n’ Bleach – and I’d call my salon ‘Shortt Cuts’. For now, this seems an apt name for my short(t) blog pieces on hair, hairdressing, hairdressers and the brilliant world of bleach!

I will start with a piece on being ginger…

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2 thoughts on “Back to School? This year’s subjects are Babies and Bleach…

  1. Harvey And Lesley Shortt says:

    So glad to see that you’re back in the” academic saddle”. It seems that you aren’t quite the rusty old bike you thought you were. Motherhood and research can go well in”tandem” and I think that that is enough of the bicycle links….whoops, can’t stop! Just a chain reaction…I’ll put the brakes on now. Looking forward to more of your thoughts and observations. Always so interesting and thought provoking.
    Mum

  2. Alex Woolmore says:

    I know the feeling well. All those wholesome Kirsty Allsop-esque plans to knit, paint, decorate, read etc went out if the window as I managed to fill my day with franchised baby classes and coffees with other mums. And tbh, I loved it. Now finding a completely different set of emotions and personal conflict having returned to work at the start of the new school term. Nothing’s changed there yet everything’s changed. I feel far less connected with the work, the project, colleagues and sadly, with Connie. Money is coming in handy though! Seems theres no truth in that cliché – you really can’t have it all. Xx

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